There's no Place like Home

Ah there is no place like home. Especially if you have been at Highland Ridge for a week.
I guess you could say I had a breakdown. Saturday was a pretty hazy night after about half a bottle of vodka and a several pain pills and anxiety meds. I vaguely remember the ambulance ride and waking up with the doctor telling me because of my "suicide attempt". (For the record I don't have a death wish, I'm just stupid.)I needed to be admited to Highland Ridge. I really did not want to stay there but they blue sheeted me. That means I get to stay until they say I am stable. At $625 a night believe me I got stable real quick and in a hurry.
Lot's of fun adventures ensued but there are way too many to put in one blog. It was all so surreal and scary, but kinda of amazing too. Somehow I walked in there a scared, depressed, lonely girl who had a lot of self doubt and came through the other side content and with a sense of peace.
Life is what it is. I can't change the past and I have to learn to forgive myself and love myself, even if I am the only one who does.

Ten Things I love
1-My husband
2-My girls
3-My bunny (oops that should have been #1)
4-The management at my work--Awesome
5-Twix Peanutbutter bars-Thanks Claudia
6-My Littlest Petshop bunnies
7-My strength
8-My awesome brown blankie with the pink flowers
9-When someone else makes dinner
10-That I am so sensitive-I care and love big.

Ten Things I Don't
1-My i-pod is broken-grr
2-Being lied to
3-The chip in my glasses
4-The fact my favorite pink sweats have blue paint on them
5-Being so tired in the morning.
6-Not enough time/money to do everything I want to do
7-My kid growing up so fast. What happened to my baby?
8-When someone hasn't placed the toliet paper on the holder
9-Bad "hare" days
10-That I am so sensitive-I fall hard.

I read an article one day that said your cells in your body are always regenerating. In doing so you become a whole new person in like 7 years. Somehow this gives me a spark of hope that I can forgive myself for the mistakes I've made and can love myself for who I am.

Made a wrong turn once or twice

Dug my way out, blood and fire

Bad decisions, that's alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood

Miss "No way, it's all good". It didn't slow me down.

Mistaken, always second guessing, underestmated.

Look, I'm still around.

You're so mean when you talk about yourself, you were wrong

Change the voices in your head. Make them like you instead.

So complicated, look how we all make it,

It's enough! I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons--I've seen you do the same.

The whole worlds scared so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinkin' is an ice cold beer

So cool in line, and we try, try, try. But we try too hard and its a waste of my time.

Done lookin' for the critics, 'cause they're everywhere.

They don't like my jeans--they don't get my hair.

Change ourselves, and we do it all the time.

Why do we do that?

What do I do that

Why do I do that??

Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel

Like your less than Fucking Perfect.

Pretty, pretty please if you ever, ever feel like your nothing

Your Fucking Perfect to Me

Honey Mae

Last Saturday we brought the new baby home. She is perfect. She weighed 21 oz on Saturday but when we weighed her Tuesday she was 23.6 oz. That is a lot of weight for 2 days. I told her she may want to think about portion control and she kicked me. Other than that incident she is the sweetest bunny I have ever seen. She has a litter box that she uses pretty well and her own bedroom. She doesn't cry or make a mess and she loves me. We have cuddle time once in the morning while I'm drinking my coffee and once at night watching TV.

Chin Up Little Bunnygirl

I know, I know. I'm a slacker. Haven't felt like blogging because everything seems so full of drama. I figure no one wants to read about poor little me. So quick rundown before we look on the brighter (or sarcastic) side of life.

Was rear-ended on the freeway by a kid whose facebook hobbies include sleeping, eating and marijuana. Awesome.

Not a tremendous amount of damage but Daniel's Mommy didn't want to work with us, our insurance, HER insurance and in fact told me I would have a hard time proving there was an accident because of very little damage to her car. Anyway long story short-all is taken care of now and I had a Chrysler Sebring rental with heated seats on two of the coldest days in November so that was pretty cool.

Right after this I was told I have to have major surgery next year because of a lot of damage to my reproductive system and bladder. I am working a temp job that is due to end this month and I have no idea how you start a new job and then say "Hey, Im gonna need about 6 weeks off. Cool?" But whatever because it will all work out alright. Right? Tell me I'm right.

Spongebob Sassypants

So Kaylee is 14 now. David took her to the ortho to see about some braces. Total cost $4000. Of course our insurance pays part of that but damn that is like a decent down payment on a car. Which then got me thinking she is going to have these things on for 24 months which by that time she will be able to drive a car. I may cry.

So I read an article today called 15 Things you should never pay for. You can see the article here.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/usnews/20100813/ts_usnews/15thingsyoushouldntbepayingfor


It is a very bland list that it is mind boggling to think someone actually got paid to write this crap. It made me think. Lets think outside the box and really save some $$$.

1. Steal toilet paper from McDonalds or Taco Bell. What? You’re too good for one ply? Don’t be a princess, we are saving money here people.

2. While you are at said fast food place. Take anything that is not nailed down. This includes straws, condiments, napkins. Plastic forks, an occasional chair if you have a truck and a partner in crime.

3. Long distance calling. That is what your phone at work is for.

4. Anything you can finish eating before leaving the grocery store.

5. Flowers, yard décor, edging for your flower beds, decorative rocks. Just cruise the neighborhood and make a wish list. In the middle of the night go shopping.

6. Snacks at the movies. That’s what the big purse was designed for. I have had 2 full ham and cheese sandwiches with chips and drinks stuffed in my bag many a Friday date night with my hubby David.

7. Last one is a little tricky but totally worth it. At Harmons grocery store they have Drive and Load. After shopping they will wait for you to pull up in your car and they load your groceries. So basically the plan is to grab the fullest looking cart and run like hell. You never know what kind of surprises you will end up with, but that is part of the fun.

There you go. 7 Awesome ideas you can use today. Use them freely and let me know how it goes. Post your stories with your favorite Things You Should Never Pay For